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Conflicting chaos.

My friend – stranger – beautiful searching soul -
Like everyone else on this planet, I am just stumbling alone, trying to make sense of it all. Of what is right, what is good, what life is really all about. And my own opinions conflict with each other so dynamically – its like a proton and neutron – a positive and negative clash – both useful and both powerful in their own rights, but put them on the same frequency and it’s a collision course! And so I operate on one frequency level – the high – the passion – the energy – the embracing of everything – the vibe where even your muscles contract in the anticipation of LIFE, of lust, love, longing to live – really live! To explode both into and onto life! And that’s where I usually operate.
I am the flyer. I like to be tossed up into the air and hope like hell that someone on the ground will catch me – and usually – they do! I like the feeling of flying, tumbling, moving, spinning. So much more than the firm and solid strength- which has it’s own power- its own gratification.
I like the sense of freedom – the adrenaline, the high.
But every now and then – the world, and it’s energies and it’s demands and it’s motion gets too much for me and I have to change frequencies. I have to hide away and be alone and check out, and isolate myself – just for a while – just till the mud has settled and the silence brings answers. Just till my feet are grounded again, solid and firm. Till clarity comes – of who I am and what I want and how to proceed. Until I build – until I develop the muscles that are required for supporting – until then – I retreat. Introspection time. Time to think. Analyze. To proceed differently, more wisely. With control. With common sense. With common sense.
Until that frequency again becomes mundane, as it always does. Until that again becomes too much of a heavy burden. The seriousness of life. And to breath, we need to fly. We need to soar. We need to spin – without control. Up in the air.
And that is why I know, I will always fly.

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