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May, 2013:

Have you seen the crying of the soul?

Have you seen the crying of the  soul? Have you seen the tears that can not roll? Have you seen the eyes that have gone dull and sad? Have you seen how life has made her lose all that once made her glad?

No you do not see it now, nor ever did because if so, how could we be complicit to a system that supports that loss of power, the loss of the soul, the loss of belief within a young girls core?

When did she learn that she is less than? Who taught her  that she is not more than? More than she ever dreamed she could be, yet she is not operating in that – because somewhere along the line she learnt to expect less than – of herself!

How did that happen? Was it society? Was it those covert messages – now internalised – that good girls speak politely, ask nicely? Perhaps the example she is emulating of how her mother lived a life of sacrifice and servitude? Perhaps a co – dependency, desperation for approval through not being assertive. Assertive women aren’t well liked. Assertive women don’t have powerful husbands. Assertive women aren’t worthy of a man’s respect, love, approval. Where did all these messages, as subliminal as they may be come from, and how astounding that in this age of Aquarius, and this millennium and this generation, so very many of us women still live by this belief system.

Think of that same girl before she met ‘her man’ perhaps as a high school girl, think of how the world would have perceived that fresh faced, gorgeous young woman – enthusiastic, lovable, competent, skilled, bright, happy, achieving, participating fully in her own life! Sometimes emotional, sometimes needy, but THAT is not a weakness – it is simply a reflection of BEING HUMAN. It is in fact a strength.

And she still is ALL that. She has just forgotten – or suppressed those qualities, in exchange for approval, in exchange for security. In exchange for what she was taught to believe was the right or best route in life. After all, who taught their daughters to be cut throat negotiators, who taught their daughters to be the ‘head of the household’?  Women who were head of the household were either pitied, or perceived of as butch and masculine. Which little girl who dreamed of being a princess wants to be pitied or perceived of as masculine? Where did that picture in her head come from? Fairy tales? Family talk?

This woman has sold herself, the very qualities that make her interesting have been sold, or suppressed, consciously allowing another human being to appear stronger, consciously allowing the man to be who he wants to define himself as, to be the strong one, the protector, the provider, because if she can make him feel that way, fullfil that role, then she can live in the shadow of that comfort.

What? Seriously? Do women think like this?

Yes!

CHURCHES TEACH THIS.

Schools  neglect to prepare women to be or live or believe otherwise.

Parents model this.

And the most astounding women – buy into and believe this.

Deep down we (yes, me included) WE  KNOW our truth, we always have, we KNOW who we are, and we sense who we can become, but somehow we aren’t taught to trust that truth.

We question this truth, thinking it may not be right.

Girls….. YOUR truth is THE truth!!!!!

Your truth is THE truth, because only YOU travel your own journey. So YOUR perception IS the RIGHT perception  – for you. For YOUR life and those who will follow after you.

You are answerable to your spirit.

Yes, yes, of course you will make mistakes. Where did you begin to believe in the notion that as a mother, a wife, a daughter you were not permitted to make mistakes. You will. But which mistakes will cost the most?

Remaining supressed in a relationship that never will validate your true self can cost so much more than any discomfort, than any material security, than any rumours or gossip would cost your reputation. For what if your reputation is in tact, but your soul in tatters????

The children you rear – whether male or female need to see their mommy thriving, happy, respected, cherished. They need to see her cry, it’s ok for them to see her struggle, its ok for them to see her in all her facets. She is after all 100%  human. They need to see her NOT sell her soul. Nor be enslaved. Not supressed, nor “trained” and Dear God, how well trained most of us girls are!!!

You can only give your children, your little girls, who look to you as their role model and your little boys whose first experience of a woman is you – you can only give them what you have – you can not give what you neither possess nor own. So OWN YOURSELF, first and foremost. Then possess all the qualities you would want to see in your daughter, or those you would want your son’s eyes to reflect for you and all women.

As a mummy of two boys, I hereafter refer to the masculine gender, but its equally as relevant to your girl child.

Ladies, have self respect, and your son will respect not only you, but himself too.

Surround yourself with peace, and he will be a peaceful, and peace loving man.

Surround yourself with beauty and he will appreciate nature and gentleness.

Speak your mind boldly and he will learn to both acknowledge and trust strong women and their opinions.

Walk in YOUR truth, whatever that may be, making NO excuses or appologies for it, and he will learn what INTEGRITY is.

And don’t be afraid to Pay the Price for integrity – it’s worth so much more than creature comforts!

Teach a young boy how to be a real man, ironically by being a real woman.

Relinquish perfection.

Release yourself of unrealistic expectations.

Relinquish perfection for reality.

Relinquish comfort for self confidence.

Relinquish the belief systems, the faulty social constructs for the possession of your own soul.

Why do we, as women believe we need constant companionship, protection, and thus pay the ultimate price for it. Asking permission for life itself. Asking permission to purchase a particular item, asking for permission to spend our money, asking for permission to go to work, permission (tacit or otherwise) on what to wear, where to go, whom to see, what time to be back….. more and more insidious!!!! All cloaked under the blanket of  being family orientated, of being responsible, of being caring, or being considerate!

Permission to live, please Sir? Permission to explore my talents please Sir? Permission to explore the various aspects of my femininity please Sir? Permission to explore my womanhood please Sir? Permission to dress, and talk and laugh and dance and work and succeed and be silly and frivolous and be dynamic and powerful please Sir? Permission to eat, and exercise and feel my emotions and make mistakes and be creative and be safe and be angry and be excited as a little girl and be incredibly wealthy and horribly irresponsible, and intelligent and have weakenesses … PLEASE ….. SIR?????

Permission on how to think, how to interpret the world, how to perceive life

OH MY GOD.

Forget Breast cancer, cervical cancer – this is a CANCER OF THE SOUL and worse still… more and more insidious, supported by society, supported by generations before. Supported by women who can’t afford to support YOU. They select knowingly or more often unknowingly to BREED this very CANCER.

C – the curse of silence.

A – Anti – Against – against women being ALLLLL they can be.

N – Nullifying your potential, your opinions, your thoughts – thus – YOU

C – Contamination.

E – Erasing – erasing your place in this world.

R – Repulsive.

Girls, Ladies, Women….

Wear a ribbon for cancer today. Wear that pretty pink bow.

But wear it not for those who have been diagnosed with a discomfort that attacks their physical cell structure….. wear it for yourself, and for the millions of women, who have neither diagnosed nor dare to even check up – the cancer that has attacked the nucleus of the cell – the core of her very self!

And weep! Weep weep for the women of this world.